Yesterday I bottled the post “Spoon!” for your sipping pleasure. It served as an introduction to chronic illness, pain, fatigue and other symptoms using The Spoon Lady’s, “Spoon Theory.” As promised, here is a funny poem inspired by that theory.
There is a spoon thief creeping around.
He sneaks into homes without a sound.
He stole my table spoons, silver and shiny.
I didn’t even see him! He must be so tiny.
And did you know? That tricky conniver-
Must be like some kind of MacGyver.
For from my china cabinet, locked up tight-
He took the good silver, in the dead of the night!
I didn’t even know; I was unaware.
As I shuffled to the kitchen in my underwear.
I poured some cereal, to start my day
Rich in calcium and vitamin K.
Opening the drawer where spoons are kept
My foggy brain was feeling inept.
Confused I unlocked the china hutch.
What? I didn’t use spoons this much!
Still I checked the sink and the drainer.
Only a cup and a knife were in those containers.
Now I was getting angry at this unfairness!
Realizing my loss with growing awareness.
But, then I remembered my plastic stash!
And ran to the junk drawer in a flash.
But wouldn’t you know, that evil goon!
Had also taken each plastic spoon!
I sat on the floor, starting to cry.
That evil spoon-thief was just too spry.
My cereal was soaked, and soggy too.
My brain felt slow- like Elmer’s glue.
But that was not all the thief left in his wake.
Obviously there’s more here than spoons at stake.
My kitchen drawer was packed with pain.
It crawled over my body with undaunted reign.
Fatigue and sleepless nights filled my hutch.
This was all adding up to be a bit too much.
And in the junk drawer, what did I find?
Anger and sorrow assaulting my mind.
But all is not lost. Hope is still to be found.
Look- under the microwave! Smooth and round!
A spork tucked away like a knight in white armor.
Who knew a utensil could be such a charmer?
It is not the best and I will have to plan ahead.
With its bent prongs, that doesn’t need to be said.
But it is better than nothing, and all mine you see.
And with it in hand, there’ll be Fruity Pebbles for me.
So – what is your favorite type of spoon and why? Post your response in the comment section below.
Besides the spork, I personally have a fondness for soup spoons. I love their extra-round goodness. And I really love soup!